If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Saturday, 14 September 2013

The first bend in our adoption journey

Finished work today, just for 6 months whilst child 4 settles in. I hadn't really thought about how I would feel. I've been a bit caught up with everything at home so hadn't really thought about work. My job share called this morning to update me with the week so far, I'll miss our twice weekly conversations, the youngsters I work with keep me young with their partying and single life styles with no responsibilities reminding me of what it was like to be 25 again. I'll miss the opportunity of just sharing life as its is with the other mums. We work hard, so can't chat as such but relationships have still been built and cups of tea are made and often go cold yet I feel that I know them all so well.

It seems so weird to be excited and sad at the same time, I was excited to share the recent photo of child 4, yet worried that when I actually meet him next week he may not like me. I am excited to be having time off, no more stress about juggling work, home, children, school and after school activities  but worried about all the changes that I know are going to happen at work whilst I am away. Working 2 days a week means that it is so hard to learn everything when you return to work.

Of course my last day was really busy, so not much time could be spent with those I won't now see for a while. Child 4 needs to bond with me before I can do the rounds of showing him off, not like a new baby where they seem to be perfectly content to be passed from one set of arms to another. Our child 4 has been passed around a little but I doubt that its left him particularly content.

They guys I work with understand that though, in fact they have been great, someone leaving always means staff shortages for a little while, but no one has made me feel guilty, in fact I feel supported and loved because they did want to make sure that I was coming back!

As a family we have reached another bend in the road that we are travelling, the only way is forward and we cannot see what is ahead, roads may occasionally be filled with potholes and occasionally debris but they can take us to new and exciting places. I wonder where we will end up?

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