So today was the day we brought our son home for good. We have been waiting for this day for just over a year and waiting for child 4 from when I first saw him at the begining of June. For us today is the end of our wait and the birth of a new life. Our family and community have been so excited and are desperate to meet our new addition.
For him though, it must be quite scary, daunting, confusing probably quite traumatic? He has had so many changes in his short life. He was born and remained with his birth parents until a few weeks old when he would have been removed by a social worker and taken to his first foster home. Think about the scene he saw, even though he probably doesn't remember, but such an event will have had an effect. Try to put yourself in his little shoes. The chances are that his birth parents would have been distraught, would you allow someone to take your child without a fight! From that trauma you are loaded into a car with a woman (the majority of social workers are female) who you don't really know, then you are taken to a strange house full of strange people, noises and smells. Occasionally you will be moved to another house just for a week or so whilst your more permanent foster family have a holiday. Then one day there is a family problem in your foster home, so you are bundled up with a few things and taken to another new house, full of new people, smells and sounds. At each of these houses you are cared for. The lady of the house feeds you, keeps you clean, cuddles you when you are hurt or sad. The man and children play with you and chat with you but it's not really your home and they are not family.
One day a man and a lady come and see you and they play with you for a little while. They are called mummy and daddy. The next day they take you to the park and let you lick the lemony buttercream off the top of a cake. They like to cuddle you and tickle you. They talk to you and read to you. Then they take you to a beach where you can jump in rock pools, play in the sand and pick blackberries. At the weekend you meet 3 children who all want to be with you all the time, they jump on a trampoline and show you chickens, cats, rabbits and a dog. Each night you go back to the foster parents. Until today, when after bath time you are put into a new cot (well new to you) and you fall asleep. So here you are in another new house, full of people, new noises and smells. Why will this one be any different than the others?
Child 4 calls everyone Mum, and will go to anyone for a cuddle. The children are teaching him their names when he calls them mum and call me so I can see what he wants me for. Only immediate family will be allowed to cuddle him so that he knows who to go to for his kiss it better kisses and cuddles. I know it sounds over the top but it is so important that he learns that we are not just a stop gap family, we are forever!