I know that it is really sad but I keep wondering what I should wear tomorrow when we meet the birth parents. I want to look like an ordinary mum! I don't want them to think that we think that we are better than them, richer than them, more educated than them. I want them to leave our meeting saying that we were nice, normal and that they believe that we will love their birth child as our own.
I am very aware that I seem callous perhaps worrying about my wardrobe, when child 4's birth parents are being brave enough to meet with us to answer our questions, they have some for us too. They want to know what our childhoods were like, do we live in a town or the country, what do we like to do, what are the schools like and will we tell child 4 about them????
I think that I just want them to be ok with us adopting their baby, I can't comprehend how hard this is for them, they didn't have him to then neglect or hurt him, in their own way they love him just as much as I love child 1,2 & 3. I am not sure that they really understand that their parenting was not good enough because they really don't know any different.
We are lucky enough to be gaining a son but its is at someone else's expenses. I know, I know child 4 cannot stay with his birth parents because they cannot provide for his needs. But that doesn't change how they will/must feel. I think tomorrow could be one of the hardest things we must do, but do it we must for child 4's benefit, for his birth parents to hopefully accept their situation and move on with their lives ( how ridiculous is that, I don't know how I would cope with my children being removed) and for us. We need to understand as much as we possibly can about child 4's life story so that we can provide him with a home that he needs and deserves.