When our social worker warned us that this week was going to be tough and that often adopters become ill, I didn't really believe her. However, it would seem that everyone in the household is struggling a bit, sleep patterns have been effected, I am waking at 5am unable to get back to sleep, I get up for a very early cup of tea, hubbie is restless and up and down through the night and child 3 wakes in the night usually around 3am. Child 2 has a cough and cold which of course he has shared with us all.
I guess the emotional stress has begun to take its toll, it's been a tough couple of weeks what with matching panel, meeting the birth parents, leaving work and ensuring the house and family are ready for a two year old. Then there are the worries, what if he doesn't like us, or worse we don't like him when we actually meet him. How do we manage everyone's expectations, child 4 has had an unsettled few weeks so we don't know how that will impact on him moving in with us. How will all the introductions with family and friends go? For our children, they to must be worried about how the family will be affected by adding another. What will happen to the relationships within the family, will mum still have time to help with homework and to chat about a day at school, will Dad still be able to go on that bike ride.
I remember when I was waiting for child 1 to be born, I was worried that I wouldn't love her or be able to cope, I was terrified that I would become angry with the crying and that the sleepless nights would make me into a monster. To be fair I wasn't that keen on her after she was born, probably because labour was 20 hours, and she had to be delivered by ventouse leaving me with what felt like a million stitches, but I didn't get angry or turn into a monster, yes I was tired and no doubt grumpy but I grew to love her and now that love knows no limits. I guess adoption is similar. We just need time to bond, patience and time to build a relationship. Love is already there in exactly the same way it was with child 1, 2 & 3 it's just difficult to see it and feel it when so much else is going on.
I guess that it's no surprise that the whole family is feeling a little under the weather.