If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday, 14 January 2018

Two Hats

Sometimes my governors role clashes with that as my parent role. Behaviour and exclusions policies is one such clash. I attended training regarding exclusions as there is has been such a huge increase of exclusions and this led to me suggesting that we tightened up our policies. Now of course because we are, when I read them I just think about how those changes could impact on my children.
I am very aware of the need to have policies that have strong boundaries and that we have to ensure that staff and children at the school are safe and treated fairly. I also know that the school doesn't believe in treating all the children the same, they treat them as individuals with different needs. But as I read through the reasons for exclusions and I can see my youngest son fitting the criteria, well on his very bad days. There has never been any talk of excluding him. But I worry that in the future it could be, especially now that we are being so specific in our policies. 
I could ask to not be involved but then I know that those children that need support with their behaviour need me standing in their corner, ensuring that exclusion is the final solution with the right steps in between. 

Fortunately, I have a very good friend who sits with me on the Governing Body, she is my phone a friend person, the person I call when I feel stressed about the decisions I am making, she reminds me that I am a good parent and a good governor. That I do not need to worry, that as parents we work with the school to ensure our son is doing the best he can and helping them support him when things are not going so well. As a governor I may need to put my mothering concerns aside but there are children that don't have parents to support them through their education and governors are there to make sure that every child matters. I can bring the best of both roles together to offer a skill set that compliments both parenthood and governor responsibilities. I am very lucky to have her.

Hope, peace, joy and love

 I love Christmas, the lead up, the preparations, the activities - the Nativity shows, Panto, family get togethers, church services, Carol concerts and so on. This December has been our hardest, child 4 has become obsessed by time. He demands to know what is happening each day and when. Then we need to calculate how many hours and how many minutes until the plan comes to fruition. We avoided talk of Father Christmas as much as possible, which was hard when the others particularily child 3 were so very excited.

We used the advent calendars to ensure that we took everything a day at a time. We planned daily events so that there was only ever one sleep before doing something that was out of routine. It could be his Nativity Show, visiting family, collecting the Christmas Tree or lighting the fire. I had bought dot-to-dot books, paper chain kits and Chritsmas Card making kits to offer quiet activities when life became to over whelming. Overall we managed, but it was at times exhausting. I think child 4 slept through in his bed maybe twice.

I hadn't realised how much I needed to kick back and relax. For the first time in what feels like forever my husband was at home when I went on a night out. Usually he is out DJing and either child 1 or 2 babysit. They are absolutely fine to watch their younger siblings and more than capable of dealing with most situations that could arise. At worst they call me and I come home. But, the evening of my work do I could go out and not worry, oh and what a sorry state I got into. Which led to an all day horrific hangover.

What I have learnt is that I need to look after me, I need to find inner peace, hope that all will work out. That we will be able to help child 4 learn the strategies to manage his behaviour. As a family I want us to find joy in the small things so that we can manage the big stuff. I hope that as the years pass, life becomes easier, big events become less over whelming but until then the love we have for our children is enough.