If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Saturday, 29 June 2013

"It takes a village to raise a child"

After panel I emailed all our family and friends far and near to share in our fantastic news, some wouldn't have known about our plans for adoption because they don't live locally and our contact tends to be via Facebook. Although, most local people know because once our children know something, it is no longer a secret.

The responses we received were phenomenal, almost everyone thought what we were doing was fantastic, exciting, courageous and brave. How wonderful for a little one to join a family full of so much love. Although I want to agree with all those things,  I'll never get through any doors because my head will be much too big.

In reality we are just a very small part of all our children's upbringing, everyone who has a touch on their young lives helps to shape them into the adults they will be. Just about everyone whom we have shared our news with wants to be part of this adventure.

Adoption UK recently did a survey on adoption support called "It takes a village to raise a child" they were investigating the support available to adopters through social workers and the court system and although I wholeheartedly agree that support should be provided by this area of expertise. I also truly believe that we shouldn't underestimate the importance of the community our family lives in.

"The fractured and disrupted lives many of these children experienced prior to adoption, and the trauma of that neglect or abuse, creates many challenges for them and their new families.

For the child, forming attachments with their new family is not an easy or natural process. Why should they trust their new parents? How do they cope with the loss of their birth family and essentially everything they knew up to that point, however harmful it may have been? Every day, there are tiny triggers that make life an enormous challenge for these special children. Emotionally they are on permanent red alert. As a result, the behaviours many of these children present are often difficult, challenging and unrelenting for their new families."


Our community will be able to provide real life experience for our little one, demonstrating how real  relationships work, they will be able to watch from a safe and secure environment how people interact with their new older siblings in all types of different scenarios. 

In all the books that I have read about adoption and parenting there is a huge emphasis on role models for our children to emulate. Our little one will have older siblings, nephews and nieces as well as the children within our social group to encourage them to be the best they can be. There will be unconditional love on tap not just from us as parents but also from grandparents, aunts and uncles. The teaching staff at the pre school, primary school and secondary school have supported our existing children whole heartedly through the process so far and I know they will continue to offer their support for as long as its needed. This is without talking about everyone else who in some way or other touches our lives. There are the families in the playground, the parishioners at church, friends and neighbours all around, many of whom are eager to help us along should we need it. It maybe an invitation to tea or a party, a visit to the Secret Garden on a summers day, a shoulder to cry on or a set of ears to rant at what ever challenges face us as a family there will be someone who can help practically, emotionally or with just a little prayer.

So thank you for your words of  encouragement, I will keep them all in my private jar of joy for a day when I need them

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