If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday, 19 May 2013

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings" Lao Tzu

This weekend has been birthday heaven. It was my birthday on Friday and I had the best day and even better evening and tonight I have just got back from an amazing themed Safari party with child 1 dressed as an explorer Lara Croft style, child 2 a cheeky monkey and child 3 the cutest elephant ever. In fact it was so good that child 1 is currently sulking, because we left just as the party began to "get good". Both of these events were full of laughter, friendship, food and sharing.
What does a birthday mean, for me it's a celebration of life sharing that last year or lifetime I guess with friends and family. Child 1,2 & 3 would probably include parties and presents but I am sure that as they grow spending time with those you love will become more important.  For some adoptees though this is not always the case, birthdays are a connection to the past, and with that come memories or maybe worse no memories of their life before adoption and I imagine how that life and this one merge together can be full of pitfalls, especially in the very young who are unable to articulate their feelings and teenagers who can probably be very vocal but not necessarily rational. Many adopted children react badly to birthday festivities unable to cope with parties and celebrations which is so very sad as the adopting families are probably desperate to celebrate.
What will we do, well I suspect we will be led by child 4's decision in how they want to celebrate this conclusion to a year of their life and the start of another.  After all you cannot finish a story if you keep re-reading the same old chapters.

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