Have had an opportunity to look at some real case studies via a special site on the Internet which has given me a bit of a reality check. One of the children looking for a home has been with the same foster family since a baby and is now 2. We will be taking a little one just like this from an environment just like that, taking a small person from possibly the only secure home they have known, to come and live with us!
How do I cope with the guilt? How do we help that little person adjust to us and love us?
I am very aware that the foster carers are foster carers not necessarily adopters and that their role is to be the stop gap, generally this gap should be short term but for reasons outside of social services control sometimes these children cannot be adopted until all birth family options have been explored. After all, Studies show that it is in the best interest of the child to remain with the birth family where possible. Hence, the timescales involved! This doesn't make it easy for anyone involved especially the most vulnerable, the child!!!