Our social worker called in to visit today, her aim to speak to all of the children to see how family life was going. Of course she turned up early, whilst I was out shopping with child 1 and 4. Child 2 and 3 were home alone, playing on the Wii with no little aggravating little brother around to steal away the controllers, turn off the screen or just get in the way, still in their pyjamas!! Oops, well at least she sees us as we are!
The three older ones agreed that child 4 could be a pain, but they all loved him and there was no way that they would ever want to send him back. Child 2 who initially struggled with our decision to adopt is loving his big brother status and explained how despite the change to routines he is really glad that child 4 is now ours. Child 3 admitted to struggling with a new toddler in the house especially when he demands so much of her mums time (she just isn't able to see that that is what causes her temper tantrums) I feel so very lucky to have such a wonderful support in our social worker, she seems to always know the right things to say and to know the right questions to ask. She spoke to the children in such away that she she gleaned huge amounts of information about how they were really feeling and helped child 3 in particular to explain her feelings, this then led to me being able to consider how I can change how I behave so that we can diffuse or avoid some of the tantrums.
A little later when we were tidying child 3's room we found a little pile of papers from the end of last year. These included a family tree, a timescale of how the adoption process works and a list of questions that should have been placed in the social workers question jar.
Despite all her confusion about her feelings and the changes adoption has bought to her life, she without any doubt loves her new baby brother she just quite understandably is battling with that naughty little green monster that rears his ugly head in many families where new little ones are introduced.
All in all everything is ok, all the behaviours we see are normal and over time family life will settle down. We are already living and loving as a family should and I am praying that by Christmas most of the green monster triggered paddies will have passed.