If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Thursday, 13 March 2014

A bit of nurture versus nature

To be honest I am not sure what I really believe when it comes to nurture versus nature. I can't quite see how one or the other can definitively be used to explain why some children grow up well rounded and others don't. It must be a mix of both.

Now that child 4 has settled in, I often consider the nature/nurture issue. All of our children are different in looks and personalities but until child 4 I have always known what they have been capable of in the behaviour department. I knew that they would stop at the road, that they would come back when called and would recognise the warning tone in my voice when they had pushed the boundaries too far. Child 4 is a completely different kettle of fish. Perhaps, with the older three I recognised either myself or my husband in them, so knew how to deal with behaviour I didn't approve of.  The concern with adoption is that you have to learn the nature of the child and they have to learn about you. Without understanding the nature how can you put the right type of nurture into place.

As you know our little man has found out/ worked out how to undo his car seatbelt , this has escalated this week. We have tried singing action songs to keep his hands away from the clasp - If You are Happy and You Know It, Incy Wincy Spider, Twinkle Twinkle and Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes - that works for a little while. Watching him in the mirror is unsafe driving but I catch myself doing it, ready to just call his name and remind him not to touch.  When he does undo his seatbelt and slips out of his seat with a chortle of laughter I stop the car as soon as it is safe to and in silence I will grab him, plop him back into the seat, belt him back in, get back into the drivers seat and head off.  On Wednesday I had to do this three times at the same set of traffic lights during the rush hour. The lights turned red three times!!  Today has been a little better, I only stopped once to re seatbelt him back in.

I have always worked on a six week turn around process with all the hiccups that we have had with the children I am just praying that this seatbelt one doesn't take that long.

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