If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Thursday, 7 November 2013

A 5am start

Since the clocks went back last month child 4's morning rising pattern has been disturbed. He tends to wake up anywhere between 4.40am and 6.20 am and so invariably I have found myself some where between sleeping and waking, clinging to that dream yet knowing that a little voice will interrupt it with a call of "mummy".

You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you still remember dreaming?” Tinkerbell from the movie Hook.

In all honesty it's hard to drag yourself out of a warm cosy bed on a cold autumnal morning, even if it's to fetch the new baby from his cot.

This morning though was different, special even. Dad went to get child 4, popped him in bed with me and went off to warm his milk. Child 4 snuggled down facing me tracing my features with his fingers, quietly chattering away and then letting me trace my fingers over his eyes, nose and mouth. When Daddy returned with a bottle of warm milk he settled into the pillows and guzzled away before tracing his daddy features, then taking it in turns to kiss us.

Bonding is so important for us all, for child 4 to become a member of the family he needs to have bonded with us and there are many ways that we can encourage that bonding but then we have to wait, watch, hope and wait. We follow all the advice, we play games together, like building train tracks and marble runs, we frequently share stories and are now building a library of favourites, we sing songs especially Incy, Wincy Spider, Row, Row, Row your Boat and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star, we chatter away together, we make skin contact, ruffling hair, tickling and blowing raspberries on his fat belly and we carry him a lot, giving lots and lots of cuddles, not necessarily expecting cuddles back.

This morning, was the first time that child 4 has initiated the skin contact, copying our caresses of his face, by gently stroking our faces. We are still at the beginning of our journey and the bonding won't happen straight away, but we are making good strong steps in the right direction.

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