This is a question we have been asked as part of the Adopters’ contribution to the Adoption Placement Report. Wow what a question. We haven't even met child 4 yet. We've read his paperwork, seen photos and a DVD although they were from about six months ago.
How do we answer a question like this about a not quite two year old we have never met? I know that we have a home environment ready to take on a child. We are parents already, although its hard remembering what two year olds are like, I find myself watching all toddlers when we are out trying to work out how old they are and I watch to see what sort of things they do. Our home has passed the health and safety check so social services see our home as safe, clean and a good environment for a little one. We have completed huge amounts of training and read enough,books on adoption and child behaviour to fill a book case so we should a least be aware of the types of behaviours a new child may exhibit over a lifetime.
The children are excited, child 1 was looking at little boy pyjamas on Wednesday when we were out shopping, child 2 is establishing his army, planning the training for child 4 to aid him in the "destruction of the curse of the evil sisters" and child 3 is talking about her baby brother all the time.
Why is this little boy so good a match for us. I think I knew from the day I first saw his picture, our social worker thinks he looks a little like my husband and I think she's right, it's in the eyes! The children took to his picture too, although I didn't show them that until after we had told them about him.
Child 4 is like most toddlers, into cars and trains, loves being outside and bath time. He doesn't like being strapped into car seat or buggies, that sounds familiar.
I guess there are no guarantees in life, but, we so want this to work. Our three birth children maybe a like in some ways but are so completely different in others. We are not rigid or inflexible we want our children to be the best that THEY can be. We want them to flourish, be independent and be happy with their lives, not living for us. They need to live their lives, making their own mistakes and learning from them as they grow. Life after all is about personal experience not living through or for some one else.
My answer then is because we will love him for him, nurturing his natural abilities so he can flourish, helping him to deal with difficult situations and decisions, so that he can learn independence and inspire his self esteem so that he can be happy.