One step at a time.

I feel so tired that I can't function properly. I am glad that the next three days are full to the brim with working, sports day, end of year barbecue and taxi-ing children around. It means that I haven't got time to think, to mull things over too much or to imagine a possible future with a little tow-headed two year old boy.

I daren't think to much or I may start to make plans, I need to take one day at a time, one step at a time. I need to get through tomorrow knowing that the social worker that we met today will be speaking to her team leader. We will know by Friday at the latest if we are suitable for this little boy.

If we're not suitable we will have to take it on the chin and start again. If we are suitable then we prepare for the next step.  I am not even really sure what the next step will be, having decided to literally take everything a step at a time. Now sitting here writing this I wonder if I should know more but I am to scared to consider the next steps in case we aren't suitable!

Washing on the line

Last night, when I climbed into bed the sheets smelled of summer, I had washed them first thing in the morning and then hung them outside on the washing line to dry, there is something so special about drying the washing,especially the bed sheets, outside in the sunshine and then remaking the bed so that the whole room smells of cool breezes and summer.

Often when I hang the washing out on a beautiful morning I am transported to Cephalonia Greece and Captain Corelli's Mandolin, there is a scene in the movie where Pelagia (Penelope Cruz) is hanging out her washing, her line of course strung up between two olive trees, against the back drop of a beautiful cloudless azure-blue sky. I know that the film is set during the occupation of Greece during the Second World War but I love this scene of peaceful domesticity.

When child 3 was tiny and very very demanding I would love those moments of hanging out the washing, my head for a short while belonging to me, the sun on my face and a cool breeze rippling past giving me a moment to calm myself  to realign my thoughts, ready for when I returned to the house to once again belong to someone else.

With the, hopefully, imminent arrival of number 4 I think that I need to take full advantage of those on my own moments whether it be hanging out the washing, doing the food shopping, reading a book whilst   eating my lunch or just the walking the dog as I think or rather I know, those on my own moments are going to be fewer than they ever have been before, for the coming weeks and months.

A Parish Fete

This time of year is full of  fetes, parish, village and school fetes all raising money for a multitude of different things. There is something very English about a parish fete, in your mind you think of  sunshine, blue skies, bunting, hay bales, cream teas, homemade cakes and ice-cream, bouncy castles and old fashioned games.  It's the nostalgia I think, something that reminds us of less complicated times. I often find that we seem so busy, working, transporting children to different clubs and activities just constantly on the go and although a fete often means baking lots of cakes and biscuits it also means that for an afternoon we will all kind of stop and spend time with people.

 After the children have emptied my purse, they head off for the school playing field to get their faces painted and their bodies tattooed, (temporary ones of course) as the weather is so amazing the water games are the busiest. Meanwhile my mum, friends and I man the cake stall. The green covered tables were heavily laden with homemade cakes, biscuits and pies donated by members of our community.

I love manning a stall, it's an opportunity to catch up with your fellow stall holders and a chance to see people you've not seen in ages because they are no longer in the playground or haven't been to mass for a while. It's one of those famous five moments, a chapter from a story book from my childhood. A time to be part of something bigger than just yourself and you family.

If you have the opportunity to be involved in your local fete, go and enjoy. It will be worth it.

It's all in a name, or is it

This morning my husband shared with me the This Morning children's name debate "starring" Katie Hopkins of The Apprentice fame.

http://www.itv.com/thismorning/life/childrens-names-discrimination-debate/

I am sure that most of you would have been as shocked as I was by the ignorance of this supposedly educated woman. However, whilest travelling down the road of adoption the issue of names has reared it's, possibly, ugly head. If you look at the Be My Parent website you can view a number of children looking to be adopted. I am sure that  KH would not consider spending time with many of them as they have names like Courtney, Amirha, Leevi, Trey, Aston, Daryce and Tyler.

We do/did have a concern about number 4s name, would it fit in with our family? On the other hand names are important to us as they are part of who we are and where we come from. If we chose to change our number 4's name are we not taking something away from them or denying them part of their heritage? As this child grows up will he/she feel that we were rejecting his/her birth parents or history. Their birth parents chose that name for a reason so if we do have the opportunity to meet the birth parents I think that it would be a good idea to ask them why that name? Is it a family name or does it have a special meaning?

Occasionally, adopted children's names are changed, usually only to protect them. The general advice is for them to keep their name, after all it is theirs. I think we are lucky because children invariably have ways of resolving these things, if our number 4's name is too outlandish or odd in our eyes, one of our 3 will shorten it or re-invent it keeping the heritage and history but adding a twist of our own making it fit with us.

Potty mouth children

"Daddy is "Feck" a rude word.?"  Dad explained that it wasn't  a nice word to use, and asked where child 3  had heard it. "Oh one of Mummy's friends says it all the time" yes you know who you are!

Sugar Honey Ice Tea (thank you Madagascar) is another favourite method of swearing that can be heard in our house, although if its completely ignored it does seem to stop.

When I was a child a common punishment for swearing was to wash the culprits mouth out with soap and water, something that is not seen as appropriate these days, so how do we deal with it. There really is nothing worse that hearing children and teenagers swearing.

Not so long ago I received a text from my brother, informing me that my child 2 had taught his 9 year old daughter the C word and he didn't mean crap as my son tried really really hard to persuade me. Yep I'm no fool. Child 2s consequence was clean the toilets (very appropriate for his potty mouth) and then had the choice to phone my brother and apologise or write him a letter. Guess which one my son chose?

Oh and he hasn't sworn since!

Nesting

We have blackbirds nesting in our garden. This morning when I went out to let my girls out of  their hen house a blackbird caught my eye, he was sitting perched on the edge of one of our raised beds his beak stuffed full of dried grass. I spooked him as I walked up the path sending him careening into the laburnum bush that sits at the top of our garden. I could hear him chattering away to his mate as I re-entered the house, where the kettle had finished boiling. My first cup of tea, fabulous.
Whilest my tea steeped I stood watching out of the window and saw my little blackbird again collecting more grass for his nest. Back and forth he went industriously collecting any suitable materials that he could find.

We've been nesting here a bit, clearing out the study, painting the walls a soft green, putting up a blackout blind. We've stripped and painted an old wardrobe and had a new storage bed delivered. Not that we've put it together yet, as now there is a possibility that number 4 may need to sleep in a cot. We have my old cot in the attic. It's the cot that I, my sister, my brother then child 1,2 and 3 have all slept in.  An item of furniture that I hope will become an heirloom to be passed onto my children for my grandchildren in the future.  Whether they are biologically mine or not.

Charity really does begin at home.

Husband and child 1 have just returned home from a weekend of festive living at Glastonbury. Both of them are exhausted and of course grubby and grumpy, but full of all the bands and sights that they have seen. This was child 1's first foray into the miniature city that is the Glastonbury Festival, but it is not just about Noah and The Whale, Two Door Cinema Club, Primal Scream and Mumford and Sons it was for her a coming of age experience. When they first arrived child 1 was nervous and clingy, by Saturday she was off with her friends keeping in contact with the parents via text.

Like most teenagers she understood the lay of the land very quickly, recognising landmarks and so enabling her to find her way around the huge site with confidence.

Glastonbury isn't just about the bands and the music it also provides a voice to Greenpeace, Oxfam, Water Aid and many other charities including numerous local ones, in fact much of the stewarding is provided by local schools and charitable organisations, where those involved earn their schools and organisations much needed funds and get to spend a weekend of working and playing hard on site.

Much of the profit is handed over to these charities year in year out and everywhere you go on site there are reminders of the amazing work some of these charities do. There is a field dedicated to Greenpeace, and there is a major presence all over the green fields from Oxfam and Water Aid. In between sets the huge screens share the reasons as to why we should support these charities.

http://www.glastonburyfestivals.co.uk/worthy-causes/worthwhile-causes/

Somewhere, a Steven Biddulph book no doubt, I have read the importance of our children seeing us support movements that stand up for the environment and human rights as this will encourage them to think about the whole world that surrounds them, not just their local neighbourhood (which in our case is pretty much white middle class). This in turn will help them to grow into strong, individuals whonot only have a good moral compass but will also know when it is time to stand up and be counted.

Glastonbury Festival I think tries to provide a green and Eco friendly environment full of excitement, entertainment and pleasure which for helping in the education of our children is a good thing.

Just to share child 1's quotes of the weekend include
In an attempt to skive off school on the Friday "Mum what is one day of learning in comparison to a lifetime of memories."
To get to the front of the crowd when watching The Arctic Monkeys "Excuse  me but I've lost my mum, can I get past to look for her"
When Dad texted her Sunday morning " R U up" her response was "No"