If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Tuesday, 7 January 2014

Sheer determination

Bedtime has started to become a trial, a battle of wills in a way. For the last few days child 4 has made it quite clear that he does not want to go to bed, he tries procrastinating at story time, one more book, one last book, just one more book. Then when it finally is bedtime he says no and runs away to hide, well he runs away and covers his eyes, after all if he can't see me he must have disappeared.  Then we cuddle and sing lullabies whilst his musical caterpillar plays his tune. "Night night ****, sleep tight ****" But then he won't lie down and cuddle up with cow and Eeyore he stands holding onto the cot bars crying. According to much research adopted children shouldn't be left to cry, chances are they have been neglected in their past, left to cry until crying doesn't matter as it doesn't work, so for me as adoptive mum to leave child 4 crying is another rejection of him. However my sanity is fairly important too, so last night I kissed him goodnight, left the room, closed the door and hid in the kitchen with the kitchen timer set for 5 minutes. A very long 5 minutes later I slowly opened the door, to ..............silence. Whew, he had fallen asleep, the relief, was short lived. "Mum" child 2 called from the living room "who got child 4 up?"  Child 4 had decided that it categorically was not his bedtime, so he climbed out of his cot, opened his bedroom door walked down the hall opened the stairgate, closed it and went into the living room and sat on the sofa to watch TV. When I walked in he just looked at me as if to say "what"
He climbed out of his cot three times that night, until dad sat outside his door. Tonight was my turn he finally dropped off to sleep with fewer tears knowing I was just outside the door and didn't try to make an escape.

At the weekend we will move him into a bed! My baby is growing up and he is going to be very determined young man. We just need to ensure that all that determination is channelled onto good, exciting paths.

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