If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday, 4 December 2016


Adoption is a funny old thing, it changes everything, your outlook on life, your relationship with acquaintances, friends, work and family it impacts on everything. How I manage my family, my emotions, my work/life balance. Along the way we have distanced ourselves from some but others have integrated themselves into our lives with ease offering all manner of support, some involving coffee others involving gin. We seem to have made lots of new friends, others like us, parents dealing with children who need something more, something different. Or just those who go with the flow. We, I think are lucky to be so established within our community that many although often dubious have given us the benefit of the doubt then, when realising that we only have our children's best interest at heart and know what we are talking about, work with us to ensure the best outcomes for our children.
Pro-activity is the key life plan. We pro-actively manage everything, holidays, weekends, starting school, beginning new clubs always assuming the worst and hoping for the best. We stop cycles of behaviour by talking, planning, returning to known ways that work or try new ones. We attend courses, read blogs, articles, books all about how to support all our children and ourselves through this mine field that we sometimes stroll through, other times we tip toe, silently and cautiously, sadly we occasionally misstep causing explosions and fallout.  
Outside influences can rock this, emotions triggered by others can cause a ripple effect, like that of a stone being tossed into smooth, calm pond. The ripple starts small but spreads quickly, effecting more of the pond surface, the ripples often increasing, becoming faster and more agressive until they peter out and once again the pond is smooth and calm again.

Advent always makes me think, it's a time to revisit the year and think about the coming new one. It's a time to think about the bad stuff and what can we do to avoid it, the not so good stuff and how we can change it but most importantly the things that have gone well. We have had a wonderful year really, a fantastic family holiday, amazing exam results, medals at gymnastics, a happy settling into school, children growing and changing, making us proud. Then we have those days of quiet, calm simplicity, the days full of sunshine and joy and the days of exciting, chaos. Those are my favourite memories and I am hoping that 2017 will be filled with days like those, days like those overcome all the days that aren't so good.

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