If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday, 31 May 2015

Making memories.

For Eva. I thought you may enjoy this one. I know that sometimes there is so, so much negativity surrounding adoption especially via Twitter, I guess that's because Twitter is where many of us go when life is tough, but it isn't always like that.

Watching the clouds drift lazily above the canopy of the rose pink blossom laden arms of the ancient gnarled tree beneath which I lie, their shapes and hues of white and grey lull me into a daydream, the sun caresses my face with his warmth as he peeks out reminding me that spring is slowly disappearing into summer. The wind murmurs to me, whispering of memories waiting to be made and my children are laughing and whooping in delight with their cousins as they play amongst the blossom heavy trees, climbing into their waiting branches to search their world for adventures,  clambouring up hillsides and sliding down dusty pathways and hiding amongst ever green bushes.

A famous five day out once again. We have been to the park, then off to find the soft downy grey cyganets and the yellow and brown fluffy duckerlings as child 4 calls them, then we stroll and dance into the magic of the  Secret Garden for a picnic. I lie here thinking nostalgically of Anne of Green Gables or rather her children playing in their Rainbow Valley, Walter would be making up stories while Jem would be playing the hero. The twins would be getting into scrapes, little brown boy Shirley would be hiding away and Rilla my Rilla would be desperately trying to keep up. The Merediths of course, would be close by sharing games and secrets. I sometimes think that my love for these stories is that I could disappear into them as a child, you hear of people saying how back in the day they would be off out after breakfast and not home until tea time. Exploring and playing in the sun from Spring until winter came, perhaps that was what I was looking for but the only way for it to happen was through the tales in a book.

And so I lie here today, wishing that, my children could live the life of the Blythe and Meredith children playing together, learning life lessons together, enjoying being outside with the sun on their faces, enjoying those moments in childhood without a care in the world. No trauma, no attachment issues, no social media. Just laughter and joy.

Then, I realise, in actual fact that is exactly what they are doing, maybe not with the independence of those children in my favourite books but still, I am lying here day dreaming I am not watching what the children are up to, it is very unlikely that I will know exactly unless someone is hurt. They are enjoying their own Rainbow Valley moment and perhaps I should just carry on enjoying my day dreaming, whilst I have the chance. I can dream, as I am sure Anne did, about what amazing adventures lie ahead for my children or I can worry about the tribulations that life brings. Instead I will doze quietly and enjoy the knowledge that they are making beautiful and happy memories today.




“Anne smiled and sighed. The seasons that seemed so long to Baby Rilla were beginning to pass all too quickly  for her. Another summer was ended, lighted out of life by the ageless gold of Lombardy torches. Soon...all too soon...the children of Ingleside would be children no longer. But they were still hers...hers to welcome when they came home at night...hers to fill life with wonder and delight...hers to love and cheer and scold...a little.” 
― L.M. MontgomeryAnne of Ingleside



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