My baby boy and I

Today, was my first day on my own with child 4. To be honest I was terrified, I may have already had three two year olds but the last one was five years ago and memories are funny things, we tend to remember things with a smile and a beat of our hearts. I had it all planned out yesterday, child 3 and I would walk child 4 down to school in the buggy, then after goodbyes child 4 and I would take a stroll to the doctors to register him, then a stop at the supermarket for milk and perhaps a first visit to the secret garden for a run about before heading home for cake and a drink, playtime, lunch and then nap time. So I was a little put out when I woke this morning to the rain. What were we to do, our little errands would only take about 30mins by car which left about 4 hours until nap time. I really wanted to have some amazing one on one time with child 4 to start building our relationship into a normal mother son bond but was concerned that I wouldn't cope.

It was a fabulous four hours. As I am unable to leave child 4 unattended because I have yet to find out what he is capable of, we spent the majority of the time playing together, jigsaws and trains are a firm favourite with the occasional cuddle and the more cuddles there were, the better they became, in fact by bed time he actually snuggled into my neck.  Grandma and Grandad popped in for a cuppa and a cuddle adding a new excitement and some adult conversation  for a few minutes before lunch.

I was right about not leaving him unattended as he left the bathroom taps running, took a bite out of three different apples, played throw the plums and locked the cat flap. All before lunch time and that was with me supposedly watching him!

Today was really important for child 4 and myself, he let me cuddle him and kiss him better after a fall, he even cried today, real tears. Up until now he hasn't cried and any tumbles he may have had he has just picked himself up, brushed himself off and gone on his way. I don't have a particular concern on the picking up and dusting off but if he's hurt he needs to know that he can come to me or his Daddy for a kiss it better. Independence is very good but too much could mean becoming an "island" unable or unwilling to ask for help when needed, and that is so not good.

Every day that passes makes me feel more and more optimistic.