If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday, 19 October 2014

Anger management

Many adopted children struggle with anger, can you blame them they do not know stability,  supportive parents or unconditional love. Our child 4 struggles with anger, I have been reading Margot Sunderlands  The Science of Parenting and about the two types of tantrums children have, the distressed type of tantrum and the Little Nero type. Our little mans tend to be the distressed type and I am not sure if that is easier or not.

We have decided to try and pre-empt issues for the future so have asked his nursery for support. We now have a SenCo (special educational needs co-ordinator) coming in next month to assess him and then we along with the staff will put a plan in place to support him. The nursery staff are trying to see if they can find the triggers for his rages, so that they can help avoid them. At home we have systems in place for the times he loses his temper. At home he tends to be prone to tantrums when he is tired or hungry and he is often angrier when one of his siblings won't play with him. He reacts with violence I guess, hair pulling, biting, pinching and punching. He chases after them not willing to just let it go, he wants a fight and that makes it difficult. I have learnt to keep a close watch, close supervision of him after 4.30pm when they are all home. I try to use distraction where I can but sometimes I have to use the buggy. The buggy is my containment strategy when things are at there worst, he can be secured but still with me whilst I finish off dinner. It's not my preferred strategy but sometimes necessary. Bubbles and play doh are much better.

It's not all bad, most of the time life just ticks along. We are a family and dealing with all the issues that family life brings. Most days are good even fantastic but sometimes I watch our child 4 and I see the damage his early beginnings have done and I hope that we can give him what he needs to recover. But I guess all I can do is ensure we take all the support we are offered or that we can ask for and just enjoy a day at a time.........

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