If I could give you one gift it would be to see yourself through my eyes and then you would see how special you really are.

Sunday 4 November 2018

Sealed with a x

During the summer Child 2 had a long holiday, finishing at the end of June he was away from college until the beginning of September. Boredom and new friends meant that he was hanging around at our local skateboard park, which here, is where kids have the opportunity to learn to smoke, try drugs and learn to shoplift. Of course not all the kids take this opportunity but group peer pressure is a powerful aphrodisiac.
Although, we hated it there isn't much you can do with a child, well really, an almost a man, 17 year old. I guess that we could have tried to stop him from hanging out there, but I didn't want him to end up lying to us. I am positive that our attempting to ban the skate board park would not have stopped child 2 for heading there he would have snuck out or just lied.

At first I struggled with what was happening, so as usual I started to investigate how we could keep child 2 safe but still allowing him the freedom to hang out, make mistakes and have fun.
Then one day I remembered an article I read about giving teenagers an exit plan if they ever found themselves in a situation that they are not happy with.

https://bertfulks.com/2017/02/23/x-plan-giving-your-kids-a-way-out-xplan/

Basically, all the teenager has to do is text their parent, guardian, responsible adult an X. The adult then telephones to say that they need to collect said teenager due to a family issue. They find out where the teenager is and then goes to collect them. This provides the child with a get out that will not lead to any ridicule or loss of face from his friends. The hardest part, but probably the most important part is the fact that the teenager doesn't have to explain anything, there is no judgment from us as parents as the whole idea is to build and keep trust. Obviously, if this becomes a regular occurrence then there would need to be discussions but for a one off it does mean that our son would always have a way of being safe.

Not long after we set this plan with Child 2 he gravitated away from the skate board park. He now has a part-time job, he is back at college and has new friends and a girlfriend. For now life is a little calmer but the X text will be something we will carry on supporting.







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